Sometimes suddenly like a runaway ox, no longer pulling the pear, just walking forward hollowly. When you stand a little higher and look at the sky, you will find that the birds seem to be flying slowly. We can see their wings flapping hard and observe their white bellies clearly, although they may be other colors.
When children are very young, they all like toys, and I also like toys. Due to limitations, I used an abacus as a car, with bricks on top, pulled by a rope. This should be for transporting supplies. I also liked digging various small ditches on the ground, then filling them with water, controlling various gates, and balancing the water flow. Later, I liked to build a garden full of weeds on the top of the attic. These weeds are not actually weeds, but belong to the kind that is tender and juicy. I feel that this is a desire to create. This desire to create may be very similar to the desire to possess, both having strong characteristics of control. Just like the diary I am writing now. It's just that creation is a higher form of possession, an absolute control.
Some people believe that there is some kind of nature behind human behavior. I feel that all my actions are a form of control. This control can be satisfied through the form of creation. Rather, it is about controlling oneself. But the most tragic thing in this world is that one's own survival must come at the expense of the destruction of others. If there is a kind of heaven, can this kind of control be realized? If this place is only mine, then it is heaven.
Many times I feel that other people's thoughts are evil, and of course, others also feel that my thoughts are evil. I have always wanted to pursue justice, but this idea is absolutely not pure in my opinion.
Why do people create works? Why do they write poetry, music, and art? Other people's motives are not important, what is important is why I want to write something. As a barren land, it is not meant to satisfy others' desires for exploitation, but its own growth is more due to the characteristics of the land itself. Creation can certainly be for others. Perhaps this other person is still oneself. This is a person's world, objectively speaking. Subjectively speaking, it is also everyone's world.
[[2024-02-05]] Rename Creation and Control